As women, pleasure is our power fuel. And yet, most of us have become so conditioned to switching off our natural sensuality and going into “operating mode”, that experiencing pleasure on a daily basis is now something we have to make a point of making time for. Pleasure is often viewed in society as frivolous and dispensable – rather than being the fuel that keeps us motivated, vibrant and alive. It’s high time we really started realising the importance of daily pleasure rituals!
I’ve spoken about “conscious” hedonism (acts of pleasure, coupled with awareness, that harm no one) before… in fact, the Ancient Greeks took this concept so seriously that daily acts of pleasure were considered to be “offerings to the Gods”! And I really connect with that. What is the point of being given these amazing bodies if we are never connected to them? If we never acknowledge and revel in their deliciousness? We’re here in our bodies for such a short time – let’s make the most of them!
Experiencing pleasure is vital to living a fully expressed life. Because, hand-in-hand with allowing ourselves to revel in our pleasure and sensuality, is allowing ourselves to experience any strong emotions too – and this has been conditioned out of us as well. We’ve been taught to keep all of our feelings locked inside – which plays out as anything between being careful not to be too joyful or confident or happy – in case we might make someone uncomfortable/envious – to putting on a brave face and to ignore what is happening in our lives, despite the fact that we might be experiencing massive trauma or difficulty.
The problem is, that shutting down our strong emotions means that as well as denying and locking in our sadness or anger or grief (and, therefore, not feeling and releasing them, just allowing them to “loop” and wreak havoc on ourselves and those around us), we also deny ourselves the possibility of experiencing strong emotions on the other end of the spectrum too – joy and passion and radiance. And when a woman shuts down her radiance, she becomes angry and depressed – and this gets directed back towards herself and out at the rest of the world – which creates yet more shutdown… leading to more anger and depression. It’s a vicious cycle that’s not good for anyone! So we need to give ourselves permission to FEEL again.
Allowing ourselves to feel again is vital to opening ourselves up to the pleasure that feeds us. That’s why dancing our feelings out is a really good way of bringing up and then releasing any locked down, repressed emotions. (Note – we’re not bringing up these feelings to wallow in them and stay stuck! These feelings have already created the contrast in your life that has allowed you to choose differently – even if that alternative choice isn’t manifested yet. So feel them, thank them and let them go). And there’s no need to go and dance in a group if that’s not your thing – you can do this in the privacy of your own bedroom or lounge or kitchen… the important thing is that you feel free enough to experience and release any stuck, unwanted emotion in you so that you can in turn access your pleasure and joy and vitality. Releasing one will naturally lead to the experiencing of the other. And dancing is one of the best ways I know how to do that. So pick some music that you love and/or that matches your mood – and go for it.
And, once you feel you have opened yourself up to feeling again (even just a little bit!), ask yourself what you can do to bring more pleasure into your day? It could be something as simple as taking a walk in nature, enjoying a candle-lit bubble bath, snuggling your cat or dog or curling up in front of a cosy fire with a good book – and it can be anywhere from 10 minutes to half an hour (or more if you can) – a short “Pleasure Pause” that you incorporate into your day.
Or maybe you could schedule some quality time with a really close girlfriend, book a massage or even plan an entire day off and declare it an official “Pleasure Day”. Be sure to plan these days well – so that you only end up spending them doing things that bring you pleasure and allow you to revel in your sensuality – lie on the beach; tap into your dreams and make a vision board; nurture your body with healthy, delicious food; sit around a campfire; sleep under the stars… or just do nothing if you feel to! Whatever turns you on and makes you come alive. These pleasure practices are all about activities that engage your heart and yoni together – they’re about being in our bodies and switching our heads off for once! “Heart Downwards” is the mantra here!
And, of course, some precious time spent with your yoni wand or yoni egg or enjoying a yoni steaming session are perfect pleasure practices too! As is intimate time with your partner, of course, if you have one. Date nights are important – try and make them a weekly happening!
So how about starting to prioritise your pleasure on a daily basis – and see just how much more energised, revitalised, joy-filled and connected you feel as result? How much more creativity have you been able to access? And any other positive changes/manifestations showing up in your life? Keep a journal to track your progress – and please feel free to leave me a comment below or email me your findings or ask me any questions you might have.
Also please feel free to share your own favourite pleasure practices/suggestions. I would love to hear from you and you might just help inspire a sister in need of a little more pleasure in her life 🙂
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