Pic: Nicky Newman Photography
For those of you who live in South Africa, you will probably be very aware of the public protests against violence to women that were held outside parliament last week. South Africa has a horrifically high rate of gender-based violence – and women here have had enough. Triggered by a string of abuctions, rapes and murders of women simply going about their daily lives (and, in particular, the rape and murder of 19-year old Uyinene Mrwetyana – who just went to the fucking POST OFFICE for goodness sake), women all over SA have been standing up, in whatever way they see fit, to send a message to the government that stricter laws need to be passed and enforced against those committing such crimes.
To be honest, I’m not much one for waving placards and chanting slogans – and I always have to recognise the sovereignty of all of us in our earthly incarnations, however harshly they may play out… but what I DO also recognise here are the same energies at play amongst all of the perpetrators of these tragic and deplorable events. And what we can do to combat them.
Rape and murder are only ever committed by radically disempowered individuals who try to exercise a false sense of power over those they attack by trying to take away their pleasure, radiance, vitality and love of life (or life, period) in general. In short – these dysfunctional people somehow believe they can feed their disempowered state with the power of others – but obviously pick on those least able to physically defend themselves (women and children are a clear target) in order to do so.
So… how do we fight back? Some march. Some chant. Some document/record. Some initiate. Some, if in a position to be able to, may even be able to get legislation passed to bring about lasting change (although in SA, I believe a total overhaul of the justice system is needed for this to have any meaningful effect – there’s no point in simply locking up desperately disempowered, unhappy human beings without rehabilitation programmes, of which there still seem to be pitifully few in existence – that’s only asking for yet more trouble. There’s also obviously a huge need to identify the root causes of these men’s disempowerment in the first place – and do something to remedy that along with any deeply entrenched beliefs that somehow confirm that this kind of violence is in any way OK – but those are huge subjects for another day). All ways of fighting back are valid – and all are very individual. Go where you are most effective.
Me? I “fight back” with pleasure. Pleasure breaks, pleasure days, self-pleasure… pleasure in all of its forms. Why? Because pleasure is THE antidote to the very energy that the dysfunctional human beings that commit this kind of crime, bring with them. Pleasure beckons to us to revel in it, and, in doing so, to celebrate our radiance, our vitality and our love of life. It holds a big “middle finger” up to anyone who tries to challenge that and make us small. Pleasure couldn’t be further away from the joy-destroying intentions of those who rape, abuse and murder. Pleasure is ALL about joy. It is ALL about love. And it is all about all of the good things that make life worth living. It is not frivolous or trivial or any of the other demeaning terms that are often used to describe it. It is, in actual fact, a very powerful act of defiance.
Taking 5 minutes to step outside and appreciate the sunshine, the rain, the fresh air, the trees, the ocean… or however nature is presenting herself to us at that moment… fills our pleasure tanks and powers us on. Powers us on to create a better world in whichever way we see fit. Spending time with our best girlfriends, laughing and playing with our children, meditating, enjoying a meal with friends… pleasure doesn’t need to be complicated, expensive or out of reach.
And then there’s sex and self-pleasure… Our deepest pleasure and orgasm opens us up to realising the expansive magnificence and power of our true beings. Something that I wish for all women to experience. Which is why I try to call these experiences into my own life as often as possible – and, in doing that and then teaching this work as I do, to introduce more and more women to the profound state of awareness and self-discovery/self-dissolution (because it is both, at the same time) that they bring.
Wherever we can, we need to call pleasure into our lives. In whichever way it is accessible and in whichever way it lights us up. We live in a world of energy – and pleasure, in all its guises, is a very powerful energetic weapon. It makes us strong – in a fiercely gentle way.
Women of SA… I love you… and I believe in you (as well as the awesome men of SA who have stood with us over the past week… Thank You). Pleasure is woman’s greatest superpower. Together let’s drown the joylessness of violence against women in a sea of pleasure. For me, personally, it’s the only way.
♥ ♥ ♥
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