My “Why?”

So I often get asked… how did I get started on this path of emotional and physical sexual healing in the first place?  What drove me to look at such a taboo subject as sexuality and want to explore it in such depth?  And what on earth then made me wish to share my discoveries with others?!

Given my experiences of sexuality whilst growing up, I was, on the face of it at least, a rather unlikely candidate to start looking into this work.

But, as with most of the projects/businesses I have undertaken in my lifetime so far, it all started with following my interest and curiosity.  Really the only career guidance questions we ever need to ask ourselves:  What are my top interests?  What do I have the biggest questions about?  What lights me up?  Following our natural joy, interests and curiosity is so important – and this alone can lead to a very fulfilling choice of vocation.

But, also – and possibly less obviously – another great question to ask would be:  What are my greatest struggles and what have they taught me so far?  Surprisingly often, our greatest struggles are, if we embrace the challenge of overcoming them, the things that can teach us – and those who may choose to learn from us – the most valuable lessons.  They are, more often than not, the areas of life where we can best serve.  (Which, as natural uplifters – each and every one of us – also serves us the most at the same time as serving others – we’re all in this together!)  As human beings we tend to fixate on our struggles – ie we look at them in minute detail – and so, we can’t help but learn a LOT about the subject matter, whether we intend to or not!  And – with tenacity, patience or simply attracting the right tools to us at the right time – to learn how to overcome them too.

As a child, I suffered sexual trauma in the form of sexual abuse and shaming.  Both of these experiences left a huge mark on me.  Both of them taught me that sex was taboo and something to be kept hidden – and that sexuality – and in particular my sexuality – was somehow NOT OK.  The weight of sexual shame that came with these messages was huge.  And on a fundamental level, the message that gets passed on in these kind of situations – ie when in relation to our innate sexual natures is –  “I am not OK”.  And that’s a heavy message to carry!

As a result, as I grew into a young adult, I suffered various degrees of social shutdown.  So whilst I was fortunate enough to have a strong sense of fun and good sense of humour, I was still, underneath it all, incredibly shy and insecure, reluctant to enter relationships and altogether awkward around the subject of sexuality.  Although, most miraculously, I did not shut off from my sexual connection to myself.  That has generally been very strong in me – I just found it hard to translate it into sexual connection with others.

Fortunately, at the age of 21, I found myself in a relationship with a great guy (after being in quite an emotionally abusive on-off relationship for several years with another) – which definitely helped me overcome a lot of my shyness and start to enjoy partner sex a whole lot more.

But – remnants of the shame still stuck around… even after I had met and married the awesome man who is still my husband nearly 25 years later.  And so, at the tender age of 45 years old, I decided enough was enough and that it was time to dig deeper into the programmes that were running in me – and how I might overcome them.

So, I started doing my own research.  And I found several conscious sexuality teachers online – and, with them, the joy and wonders of yoni eggs.  I ordered a yoni egg for myself, along with a few more, just in case any friends “may” be interested in them (and they most certainly were!)

I started working with my yoni egg on a daily basis.  As well as educating myself on all things conscious sexuality.  And I totally “got” the need for this kind of sex education (the kind we never got at school – and still don’t!) to be spread as widely as possible.  My days now – instead of being examples of how I would do all I could to avoid talking about sexuality – consisted of talking in depth about vaginas, yoni eggs, crystal dildos/yoni wands and their accompanying orgasms of all shapes and sizes… AND the vibrant sexual health, creativity, joy and fulfilment that comes (pun intended) with the lot of it.

What the hell happened???

Fortunately, as I said, I have a good sense of humour.

And so I continued my journey….  And I have made leaps and bounds in overcoming my sexual trauma – and helping others to do the same.  All through using tools and practices like a yoni egg, yoni wand and yoni steaming – amongst others – and still continuing with my unrelenting research into conscious sexuality and the treasures and insight that offers us.

And I find myself running a business where women’s deepest, darkest sexual concerns and issues can be brought out into the light and all sexual shame/guilt/insecurity understood and transformed into our own unique expressions of our own unique sexuality.  As well as teaching women how to take their power back, reclaim the care of their own sexual health – both physical and emotional – and learn how to implement the absolute best holistic sexual self-care tools and practices ever.

Oh, how I love my job 🙂

It has become my absolute passion and mission to provide women with tools and practices that empower us to take control of our own sexual health and well-being.  As well as to heal our sexual trauma and shame.  And fall in love with our own bodies.  All so we can at least be comfortable in our own skin and have a healthy intimate relationship with ourselves first and foremost – as well as, if we wish, to create healthy, intimate relationships with others.  And beyond that, to explore the role of sexual energy, pleasure, and orgasm in terms of personal power, creativity, manifestation and all-round vitality.  Creating vibrant emotional sexual health as well as physical – both equally important and intrinsically connected.

I am also incredibly disenchanted with the majority of the mainstream medical industry – its history of women’s sexual and reproductive health care is generally nothing short of appalling.   So women taking the care of their sexual health back into their own hands again is something that feels vitally important to me – and if I can help spread the word about possible holistic alternatives to the array of mainstream horrors on offer, then I will do that.  Whilst, at the same time, fully endorsing the services of good functional/integrative medicine doctors – as well as Traditional Chinese Medicine doctors – as and when necessary.

If these are subjects and goals that interest you too…  then maybe you would like to sign up to my mailing list in the purple box to the right of this page.  In this way, you can not only bag yourself a copy of my beautifully-illustrated and informative “Yoni Love 101 – A Guide To Holistic Sexual Self-Care For Women” ebook, but you will also be notified when my Yoni Vitality private membership programme opens for registration – and, with that, an invitation to work more deeply with me and this material.

Here’s to the collective sexual health and happiness of every woman on the planet!  So much love, joy and pleasure to us all! 


If you have enjoyed this blog post and would like to be kept informed about future blogs, live events, courses, online training or special offers, please sign up to our mailing list using the form to the right of this page.  When you do, you will also receive a beautifully illustrated Sexual Reflexology chart denoting the different reflexology zones of the vagina, the in- and out-of-balance emotions connected with these different zones and also the relevant healing sounds and sexual positions connected to them.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *