Most women have had similar sorts of experiences that have kept us away from fully engaging with and enjoying sex to the kind of transcendent levels that are possible for every woman. Some examples of these negative experiences are:-
- Shame and/or guilt regarding our sexuality/sexual experiences
- Pain or discomfort during sex/unsatisfying sexual experiences
- Toxic intimate relationships
- Sexual abuse
- Crossing of unclear/unstated sexual boundaries
- Invasive medical procedures
- Feeling sexually inadequate
- Having sex simply to “please” our partners
- Premature penetration – having sex before we are ready
- Difficult childbirth
When we have experiences such as these, our vaginas automatically “armour” themselves – creating areas of pain or numbness. This “armouring” process is the vagina’s way of protecting itself against any further “invasion” or perceived threat of some kind. And whilst it does indeed offer some sort of protection like this, it also shuts the vagina down from feeling anything at all – including pleasure. So we become numb and disconnected – and shut ourselves off from our sexuality and sensuality – and, thus, from being fully alive.
Fortunately, we have tools and practices to reverse this armouring process, with the most effective one I know being “de-armouring”. On this site, I have already spoken about yoni eggs in depth – and regular use of these will certainly help with the de-armouring process and will most definitely reconnect us to our bodies again in a very gentle, intimate way.
Use of a yoni wand can be even more effective for this process, however – as the length of the wand makes it possible to direct it to more focussed points of the vagina and hold it there – and also makes it far easier to reach the cervix. The cervix is a highly innervated area with 3 major nerves (the hypogastric, pelvic and vagus nerves) ending there – and stimulation of the cervix can lead to expansive, transcendent cervical orgasms. Many women experience pain or numbness in the cervix, however – thus severely limiting their capacity for pleasure, self-empowerment and deep connection.
Benefits of De-Armouring
De-armouring is recommended for you if you would like to:-
- Get out of your head and back into your body during sex
- Restore vaginal sensation and greatly increase your capacity for pleasure
- Eliminate pain during sex
- Increase your likelihood of experiencing G-spot and cervical orgasms
- Increase your libido
- Release sexual shame, guilt, anxiety and trauma
- Reconnect to your body, your sexuality and your sensuality
- Increase connection with your partner
Or if you experience any of the following:-
- Hard tissue or small, grain-like lumps along the walls of the vagina
- Numbness or dryness in the vagina
- Contracted, hard vaginal muscles
- Hard and overly-sensitive cervix
- Pain during sex
- Difficulty orgasming
I believe that every woman should try de-armouring at least once in her life and, ideally, make it a regular practice… because until you explore this, you can never really know how much “stuff” you are holding onto… and the benefits of releasing this are SO worth it. A regular practice also means that newly-experienced negative emotions can also be released on a regular basis – rather than getting “locked in” for years and creating unwanted physical or emotional stress and limiting your pleasure.
How To De-Armour Your Vagina
If you are interested in de-armouring your vagina and cervix, you might like to sign up for my mailing list to the right of this page. You will receive my Sexual Reflexology of the Vagina chart – showing the different zones of the vagina and how they relate to the different organs and related emotions (when both in and out of balance). Using a yoni wand to stimulate these different zones, as well as adding the Taoist healing sounds to this practice, can really help release stuck emotions and stagnant energy and help bring about healing on a very deep level. Healing sexual positions are also provided for added fun and exploration 🙂
This is a practice you can either do on your own, or with a partner. A wand works particularly well for this – but you can also use a finger or penis. As with a yoni egg practice, I recommend bringing yourself to a point of gentle arousal before entering the vagina – ie via a breast massage, clitoral stimulation… whatever works for you… It is very important not to enter the vagina until you feel fully ready – a lot of tension is built up through being entered too soon – and that is exactly what we are trying to release here. If you would like to, you can also use a natural lubricant (such as coconut oil) on the wand before you begin the process.
- Move slowly and drop all judgement and expectation
- As you move around the vagina with your yoni wand, pay attention to any areas that feel tense, painful or numb. And, instead of moving away from the discomfort/numbness, push into it using the end of the wand. Breathe into the sensation. Also, move your body at will, according to how the sensation makes you feel – and be sure to allow yourself to sound your feelings too, including screaming, laughter, rage or crying – literally, whatever you feel… let it come out, hold nothing back.
(SPECIAL NOTE RE: SOUNDING – There is a very close connection between the throat and the yoni. The throat holds a lot of tension and is armoured in most people as the majority of us are unwilling to express our true nature and, thus our full potential, and to show the world who we actually are. The voice is the most important tool for doing this – but for most of us (due to our social conditioning), it’s not easy. But the more we can open our throats and find our true voices, the more we’re able to step into our power and to be who we truly are. Shutting down vocally is very closely related to shutting down sexually. Conversely, opening up vocally will, therefore, transform us sexually – and thus profoundly affect the rest of our lives also).
- Pay particular attention to the clitoris, the entrance to the vagina, the G-spot and the deep vagina and cervix.
- Sometimes you might need to go over the same spot more than once – but sometimes one session per area is all that is needed to remove the block permanently.
- Once you feel you are complete, then feel into what you need to do next – some women want to go to sleep, some want to make love, some want to cuddle… listen and follow whatever your body is telling you.
- Love yourself deeply throughout the whole de-armouring process.
With de-armouring you are basically giving yourself a soft trigger point vaginal massage – releasing tension and toxins and increasing blood flow. The results of which are a soft, receptive, juicy, sensitive vagina with a greatly enhanced capacity for pleasure ♥ Once again, as with all of the yoni reconnection practices that I promote, this has far-reaching effects on all areas of your life.
If you would like to explore de-armouring the cervix in MUCH greater detail be sure to check out Self Cervix. Olivia Bryant, together with some highly experienced and informative colleagues, explore all aspects of cervical de-armouring as well as guiding you through the process during this 21-day online journey – and I would highly recommend giving it a try.
De-Armouring In Preparation For Childbirth
Although de-armouring has generally been discouraged during pregnancy, there are increasing reports of women de-armouring their vaginas and cervices prior to giving birth – and of how this eases the birthing process and even makes the possibility of an orgasmic birth a lot more likely.
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO NOTE, HOWEVER, THAT VAGINAL DE-ARMOURING SHOULD ONLY BE DONE AFTER 25 WEEKS INTO YOUR PREGNANCY – AND DE-ARMOURING OF THE CERVIX SHOULD ONLY BE DONE AFTER 37 WEEKS.
Two de-armouring sessions are usually considered the optimal number during pregnancy – but I would still ONLY recommend this process under the guidance of an experienced health care professional – either a midwife, holistic doctor or pelvic health care specialist. I came across the website of Daphne Bergkotte-van der Putten recently, a midwife and pelvic bodyworker in the Netherlands https://www.birthandbodywork.nl/. She has some useful information to offer about de-armouring during pregnancy. I can also recommend the work of Tami Lynn Kent, a holistic woman’s healthcare provider and energy worker – also worth checking out if you would like to explore further.
PLEASE DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH CAREFULLY AND UNDERSTAND THAT ANY DE-ARMOURING YOU DECIDE TO DO DURING PREGNANCY IS ENTIRELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.
And, of course, you can absolutely use your yoni wand for pleasure… whether by yourself or with a partner 🙂 I have a selection of wands to choose from with some being particularly suitable for reaching the G-spot and cervix.
Regular use of a yoni wand will increase sensitivity and will rejuvenate the whole pelvic area. Unlike vibrating sex toys, it won’t de-sensitise the area with over-vigorous stimulation. Instead it gives a sensual, internal massage – with you controlling the speed and rhythm.
Soaking the wand in hot water before use heightens the sensation of pleasure enormously.
For a more conscious self-pleasure (or partner-pleasuring) practice, channel love into the wand, which can then be transferred into your yoni and from there can be drawn up into your heart. Infuse your yoni wand with your intention for this self-love practice. Work out what it is you would like to let go of and what you would like to attract into your life through this practice. Prepare your yoni to receive the wand by massaging your breasts and the rest of your body and allowing the yoni to open and receive the wand in her own time. Use your breath with the movement of the wand in and out of your yoni and draw the loving, sexual energy generated up into your heart, then into the rest of your body and out into all of your interactions and intentions.
Yoni Wands Now Available
At present I have yoni wands available in the highest quality Black Obsidian, Rose Quartz, Green Aventurine and Amethyst. You can buy them here.
My wands can be used with either water-based or oil-based lubricants. I recommend using coconut oil or a blend of cacao butter and coconut oil together.
All stones hold their own unique healing vibration and, as such, can be used to help heal different issues in our lives and to restore a natural state of balance.
Black Obsidian is a very smooth, hard stone – making it perfect for use as a yoni wand. Obsidian is formed when volcanic lava comes into contact with water and cools very rapidly. This means that the stone doesn’t have time to crystallise, which is what gives Obsidian its shiny, glassy-smooth texture.
(Special Note – the Taoist Grandmaster, Mantak Chia, who has been very instrumental in bringing the yoni egg practice to the West, believes that Obsidian embraces the Yang – active, creative – power of the volcano, whilst at the same time originating from the Yin power of the centre of the earth – ie a perfect balance between masculine and feminine energies).
Black Obsidian is a protective stone – it seals the energetic field and removes energetic hooks and attachments, making it useful for releasing past sexual- emotional ties. It is very useful for sexual shadow work – removing blockages in the 1st and 2nd chakras, clearing abuse-based reproductive problems or unwanted sexual beliefs/patterns that no longer serve us. Its clearing qualities make it particularly suitable for the de-armouring process.
My Black Obsidian yoni wands come with a slight curve or a fuller curve and are designed to easily reach the G-spot and cervix.
Rose Quartz is a very powerful, yet exceedingly gentle, stone – it is the quintessential stone of love and, as such, stimulates and opens the heart chakra and clears the emotional body. Rose Quartz is clearly feminine in tone and is calming and cleansing, facilitating the release of stress, tension, fear and anger. Physically, it helps cure heart imbalances and reprogrammes the cells for joy and longevity. Rose Quartz spreads compassion and gentle understanding. The perfect stone for a de-armouring practice.
I stock 3 different Rose Quartz yoni wands – a thick, straight wand; a thin, straight wand and a curved wand. The curved wand is particularly good for cervical stimulation and the thin wand is particularly good for reaching more specific points in the vagina when de-armouring or pleasuring. Starting with a smaller wand can also be very helpful for helping women heal from vaginismus or other trauma-related condition that makes penetration challenging.
Green Aventurine is a stone of optimism, joy and zest for life! It is useful for releasing old patterns, habits or relationships and to welcome change, growth and renewal. It encourages us to embrace life’s challenges with lightness and humour. It is very useful for clearing and balancing our emotions. It is a stone that stimulates life-force and encourages physical and vibrational vitality, making it a perfect stone for any conscious sexuality practice. It keeps us heart-centred and is also beneficial for heart health and the circulatory system.
The Green Aventurine yoni wand I sell is a thick, straight wand and be used for de-armouring or pleasure.
Amethyst is a stone that soothes stress and anxiety and brings clarity of mind. It can help us to overcome unhealthy addictions/behaviour patterns. Amethyst enables us to drop victim consciousness, instead helping us to understand the root causes of our self-destructive beliefs and habits which create imbalance and disease. It helps us to embrace and enjoy being on a spiritual journey in our physical bodies here on earth – obviously beneficial for any conscious sexuality practice! On a physical level, amethyst balances the brain and nervous system and assists with oxygenation of the body.
It is a great stone to use for any meditation practice, assisting as it does with Self-realisation – recognition of ourselves as pure Source energy.
My Amethyst yoni wand is a thin, straight wand – particularly good for reaching more specific points in the vagina when de-armouring or pleasuring. Starting with a smaller wand can also be very helpful for helping women heal from vaginismus or other trauma-related condition that makes penetration challenging.
All wands are presented in beautifully luscious, velvet storage pouches.
Care Of Your Yoni Wand
Make sure you clean your wand properly before use. To do this, soak it for 12 hours in hot water (60° C – maximum!) together with a few drops of tea tree oil and a few tablespoons of Himalayan salt or a good quality sea salt. Semi-precious stones/crystals don’t enjoy high heat, so never put your yoni wand in boiling water – it will damage its structure and energetic qualities and may actually crack your wand too. Soaking it in the way recommended here will be quite sufficient to cleanse it of any bacteria as well as of any energetic imprint it has picked up on its journey to you.
You will want to give your yoni wand an energetic cleanse from time to time… maybe once a month… either in a salt bath, or just into a bowl of plain salt (some people believe this is preferable) – or you can leave it outside in the moonlight…. It is particularly advisable to do this when you feel you have cleared something significant.
Also take care not to drop your wand onto a hard surface – it will break!
These are very high quality items that have been brought to you with the utmost love and care and which, if looked after as instructed, will last you a lifetime ♥