Vulvas come in all shapes and sizes – and yet, so many women struggle to love and accept the unique vulva they have been given!
The vulva is the external female genitalia. It comprises of our labia/vaginal lips (labia majora and labia minora), as well as our vaginal and urethral openings and our anus.
The #1 trending cosmetic surgery at present is labiaplasty. Labiaplasty is the surgical reconstruction of a woman’s labia and is a major new industry in cosmetic surgery – sometimes being undergone by girls who are still only in their late teens.
There are several reasons for this – but I believe the most common one is the widespread viewing of porn with its “perfect”, “neat” vulvas. This is distorting the way women view their own vulvas – and causing women to have their outer and inner lips of the vagina cut away or altered in pursuit of the “perfect” porn-industry vagina. This is nothing short of madness.
Our labia are our erectile tissue – they are highly sensitive and become engorged when we are aroused – and to cut them away is, plain and simply, to reduce our capacity for pleasure. What an insane idea.
Our labia also provide protective cushioning during sex – another aspect of their brilliant design!
Women also receive pressure and judgement about the appearance of their labia from an ignorant partner who may make a dumb-ass comment about the imperfection of their vulva – perhaps about it being uneven, unsymmetrical, hairy or an “outie” (larger inner lips than outer lips so they hang outside the inner ones). Well, hold the front page!! None of these so-called “imperfections” are anywhere near unusual! They are all perfectly normal and definitely nothing that needs “fixing”!
The reality is – all vulvas are completely different and unique and beautiful. And we need to accept them in order to open up sexually and welcome more pleasure and vulnerability and love into our lives. Because if we can’t love ourselves as we are it’s going to be really hard to attract and open on a deeply intimate level to someone else who does. That really is the bottom line.
Unless we feel and own the power, grace and magnificence of having a female body, we are always going to be looking outside of ourselves for something we can do or acquire to cover up our insecurities. And that is not a recipe for happiness.
So rather than buying into what is, in fact, a multi-million dollar industry that is VERY invested in keeping us disempowered, ignorant and insecure, we need to step into our power and LOVE our labia! Regardless of their length, shape or symmetry!
When we learn to feel so at home in our bodies and to stand tall in our unique beauty – exactly how we are and as we were born to be – this kind of insane cosmetic surgery will hopefully disappear back into then nothingness from whence it came.
Until then, let’s open up conversations with any special women in our lives who may be struggling with a poor image of their own vulvas. We can also grab ourselves a mirror and try some yoni gazing too…. Look at your yoni with curiosity and non-judgement. Speak to her in a loving way. Appreciate her power, beauty AND unique appearance. Try this for 5 minutes a day for 5 days and take note of any changes you feel – in your entire being.
There really is no reason for us not to love our labia! And every reason to do so.
And if you are keen to check out a true representation of the different shapes and sizes of women’s labia, be sure to check out the Great Wall Of Vagina.
This is British artist, Jamie McCartney’s display of 400 casts of vulvas (of women who ranged in age from 18 to 76) – which is now a very famous and well-loved art installation.
In Jamie’s words:- “For many women their genital appearance is a source of anxiety and I was in a unique position to do something about that”. Thanks Jamie!
The huge variation between these hundreds of vulvas is very apparent. And they are ALL normal. And ALL beautiful!
Enjoy yours! After all, that’s what it’s there for.
♥ ♥ ♥
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Deborah
Great post. So needed. Messages of body positivity and sexual pleasure are critical to counter the resurgence of misogynistic and puritanical shaming of women’s bodies and sexuality.
Juliet
Thanks Deborah, glad you enjoyed it. And yes, so needed indeed – great that these conversations are happening 🙂 xx
Sum guy who loves vaginas
Power to da PENIS mine loves all vaginas especially squrters but for real all vaginas are beautiful
Juliet
Love your enthusiasm and appreciation! Thank you for sharing! x