In order to truly live, we must learn to embrace death. The truth of our experience on earth is that we cannot postpone our inevitable passing, but live in a way that aligns with our fullest expression of who we truly are. In our lives we may experience multiple deaths, of the ego, identity, ideals, trauma, programmes and relationships. Through our real-isations, we merge with the cycle of life, death and rebirth. The phoenix engulfed in flames, rising from the ashes.
Just as we blaze and burn, releasing and shedding the old, we allow the soot and singed remnants to serve as a foundation for our regrowth. From the ashes, we take with us the lessons learned and weave them into the tapestry of life.
There are many different threads that can lead us on the journey of awareness and awakening, one of which is sexual healing and erotic exploration. Our sexual energy is akin to life force energy, the current of creation. When it flows through us, it may encounter hurdles, blocks and barriers – the armour we’ve put in place (often unconsciously) to protect ourselves. This is where we introduce vaginal de-armouring with the intention of allowing our life force, creative and sexual energy to flow through us freely.
De-armouring is the process of holding a safe space for ourselves as we use pressured massage to release stored tension and trauma. De-armouring can be done anywhere on the body, but for de-armouring blocks and barriers to our full sexual expression we focus on de-armouring the vagina – usually using a yoni wand so that we can easily reach and apply pressure to all areas of the vagina, including the – often well-armoured – cervix. The experience can and often brings up emotions and memories from the past. As we listen to our bodies – what feels numb, painful and uncomfortable – we allow our bodies and beings to guide us to let go of what is ready to be released. Presence is so important in this experience, as it is in this sacred space we create, that we give ourselves permission to feel the full range and depth of emotions that surface. In these moments, what once served as armour and protection dies, as we bring the awareness of such protection out into the light. We may mourn and grieve when we feel the weight release. Once again, we cycle through life, death and rebirth.
To truly explore our expansive orgasmic potential, we must learn to let go, for when we dive into the void, into the seemingly eternal darkness of nothing, we meet total surrender. In this held space, we’re able to meet any fears around relinquishing control, giving ourselves over to a higher force, and trusting that we are worthy of the pleasure we may encounter in our divine submission. With every internal death, we open up to a new experience of being alive. Our orgasms become a route to renewal. When we spend time in silence, in quiet communion with ourselves without the energetic imprint of others, we create space to reflect, release and restore. Self pleasure is an empowering path to understanding our turn-ons – what we enjoy and what accelerates or short circuits our arousal. We can then translate these insights into partnered sexperiences and create the foundation for erotic exploration together.
Types of Blueprints
Discovered and founded by Jaiya, the Erotic Blueprints are a way to illuminate your pathway to pleasure. Energetic, sensual, kinky, sexual and shapeshifter – these are the five blueprints and while we have all of them within our ‘stack’, we’ll each have primary and secondary ones which when acknowledged, can transform our sex lives, whether in solo or partnered sexpereinces. Understanding our route to turn-on gives us a map of our unique eroticism, and as we navigate new and old terrain, we discover the treasure of our full orgasmic potential.
Our bodies are wonderlands. Our skin is the organ most exposed to the outside world, it’s our first physical boundary with others and life. When we vocalise and make our boundaries clear, we show ourselves, our bodies and skin that we’re willing to honour our personal truth. This is an essential aspect of cultivating a trusted relationship with ourselves, because when we feel safe, we are able to receive more pleasure. We bloom, open and expand. We awaken undiscovered erogenous zones. We become more comfortable with expansive pleasure, our sexuality, our shadows and fears. We embrace the interconnectedness of death and bliss, of orgasm and rebirth.
While there are multiple types of orgasms – breast, clitoral, g-spot, anal, cervical, energetic, exercise (also known as “coregasms”) – and more – knowing that we each have the potential to be multi-orgasmic is majestic. The journey of orgasmic discovery is a gateway to deeper connection with death, the divine and desire.
(Yoni eggs and yoni wands can be invaluable tools in our own unique journeys of orgasmic discovery. You can find a selection of each of these on my online shop. I also run online programmes to assist you in such a journey – and if you sign up to my mailing list using the pink or purple form to the right of this page, you will be the first to know when these programmes open again for registration).
If you have enjoyed this blog post and would like to be kept informed about future blogs, live events, courses, online training or special offers, please sign up to our mailing list using the form to the right of this page. When you do, you will also receive a beautifully illustrated Sexual Reflexology chart denoting the different reflexology zones of the vagina, the in- and out-of-balance emotions connected with these different zones and also the relevant healing sounds and sexual positions connected to them. And/or (also beautifully illustrated!) my Yoni Love 101 ebook – A Guide To Holistic Sexual Self-Care For Women – an exploration of the current state of women’s sexual health and conventional ways of treating it, as well as – far more importantly – looking at holistic alternatives to dealing with our sexual health on both a physical and emotional level – and the sexual happiness that naturally flows from this.