Pleasure is our source of power. It raises our vibration and keeps us in a healthy state within our body, mind and soul. Pleasure fuels us, drives us, and empowers us to lead our best lives. As life has the potential to keep us in the flurry of constantly being on-the-go, it can catapult us into stress mode and “fight or flight”. Instead, we can gather ways to ‘rest and digest’ and attune to the frequency of pleasure as we soften our bodies and release tension. When we’re in this relaxed state of being, we’re more welcoming/allowing of pleasure in all its forms.
Here are a few of the best things we can do to relax:
Sleep is one of the best ways for us to metabolise our stress hormones and balance our natural hormone production throughout the day. Giving ourselves this healing rest consists of making sure we’re in bed by 10 0’clock latest. When we wait until 11 or later, our adrenals switch back on. This can be seen, for example, when we’re out late and start feeling tired – and then our bodies push through and we get a second wind. The sleep post-second-wind is generally not as restorative and deep. If we do feel like we need to recharge and regenerate, 8 hours of healthy sleep before 10 o’clock does wonders. It should go without saying that all devices are off, although we may need reminders now and then. Another deep sleep essential is a cool, dark room. Blackout curtains are helpful, as the intensive darkness helps with melatonin production.
Switch off Adrenals
In this practice, all you need is time, a wall and a cushion. Place your bum on a cushion against the wall and let your legs rest vertically at a 90-degree angle. When you’re in this position, with your hips above your heart, you’re able to switch off your adrenals and calm the stress hormones which keeps us in fight or flight. Women often notice a remarkable difference. Depending on your schedule you try it out one to three times a day for five minutes, or longer if you’re comfortable.
A daily meditation, even if it’s 3-15 minutes, is enough. You can always come back and do longer meditations if you want to. A short pause in your day is a great way to draw on the benefits of a reset, especially when transitioning between tasks. Immerse yourself in love, visualise nature and connect with your inner being in these quiet moments while breath grounds your body.
Here are two breathing techniques. Test them out and see which leaves you feeling most peaceful and relaxed.
Alternate Nostril Breathing
(Nadi Shodhana in yoga and Ayurveda)
Place your right thumb on your right nostril and then close the right nostril and breathe in through your left nostril – very gently and in a relaxed way. Then close your left nostril, open the right nostril and breathe out through the right nostril. This constitutes one round of alternate nostril breathing. Then, keeping your right nostril open, breathe in through this side and then close the right nostril, open the left nostril and breathe out. And so on!
Repeat as many times as you feel like. This type of breathing activates our parasympathetic nervous system, reduces blood pressure and increases our respiratory strength and endurance. It also improves our attention and fine-motor co-ordination. Ultimately, it benefits our hearts, lungs and heads all at the same time.
Inhale for a count of 5, exhale for a count of 5. Slow, steady breathing, nothing forced – repeat for as long as you wish. This balances estrogen and progesterone and has been proven to reduce night sweats and hot flushes by 44%!
And then, of course, there is orgasm! Of course, this is a bit of a “chicken or the egg?” scenario – do we first experience pleasure to relax more or first relax to experience more pleasure?? Well, both hold true, as orgasm releases oxytocin – which is the antidote to cortisol (the stress hormone). Whether this orgasm happens via self-pleasure or with a lover doesn’t matter – orgasms are some of the best medicine for relaxing ourselves! But trying one of the previous 4 practices may help you get to orgasm a whole lot more easily. Relaxation – and the allowing that it unlocks – are the keys to our deep orgasmic pleasure and connection, something that is just not possible to achieve in a state of tension and exertion.
So… Relax and Enjoy! xx