What is Sensuality?
Having embarked on a journey with the very clear purpose of exploring my own sensuality (and sexuality – and the interplay between the two) over the past 3-4 years, here are some of my musings so far…
So what is sensuality – and what can we learn/gain by exploring/developing it?
The dictionary definition of “sensuality” is
- the enjoyment, expression, or pursuit of physical, especially sexual, pleasure. eg “he ate the grapes with surprising sensuality”
- the condition of being pleasing or fulfilling to the senses. eg “life can dazzle with its sensuality, its colour”
So yes, exploring our own sensuality is most definitely to do with the enjoyment of sexual pleasure, but is also to do with the enjoyment of – and connection to – the physical world in general, as experienced through all our senses.
Sensuality & Conscious Hedonism
For a long time now I have always had the idea that the conscious awareness and enjoyment of things that bring us pleasure is a lofty pursuit… In other words, “conscious hedonism” or “conscious pursuit and appreciation of pleasure as the highest good and proper aim of human life ” is something that I personally consider to be a spiritual pastime…
Allow me to explain further!
First of all, a definition of “conscious” or “ethical” hedonism – this is the idea that all people have the right to do everything in their power to achieve the greatest amount of pleasure possible to them (and why would you not???), assuming that their actions do not infringe on the equal rights of others. And conscious hedonism is a deeply sensual pursuit.
And secondly an explanation of where the word “hedonism” comes from. Hedonism comes from the word “Hedone”, who was, according to Greek mythology, the Goddess of Pleasure. Hedone was the child of Eros (the God of Love and Erotic Beauty) and Psyche (the Goddess of the Human Soul). Back in those days, the Ancient Greeks revered acts of pleasure as “offerings to the Gods” and, as such, did all they could to offer up as many “acts of pleasure” every single day!
Sensuality & Celebration of Physicality
I believe we have come into these physical bodies in order to enjoy and celebrate physicality… in other words, it makes no sense to me that we would choose to send any part of ourselves into this physical world from the non-physical world in order to just try to deny it or escape from it again as though being physical is some sort of unfortunate “mistake”.
And, if we have chosen to be in physical form in order to experience physicality, the peak of this physical experience, in my opinion, can only be the experience of physical pleasure – in all its forms. When we talk of “pleasure”, generally the first thing that comes to people’s minds is sexual pleasure – and although this is a vital aspect of being physical, it’s by no means the only form of pleasure we have the capacity to experience here in our physical bodies. Pleasure is, without doubt however, an innately sensual pastime.
When we truly open up to pleasure in all its forms there is no need for intense stimulation of any kind – we can literally be “turned on” by the softest touch or the feeling of the breeze on our skin, or watching a beautiful sunset or the smell of a delicious meal. When we start to see and experience the world like this, the word “turn-on” starts to take on a much broader, deeper meaning. We become “turned on” or “inspired” by life and can then start experiencing pleasure in this physical realm in all its guises – and as a result, become healthier overall – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Being “turned on” is simply our bodies’ way of saying to us “Yes! Move towards that!” That is sensuality at play.
It is also worth noting that all physical beings are actually hard-wired for pleasure. By this I mean that we instinctively move away from that which causes us to feel pain and towards that which causes us to feel pleasure. Our bodies are designed to thrive in pleasure – and as such pleasure is our natural birthright – and cultivating and nurturing our sensuality, essential.
So what does all of this have to do with yoni eggs, yoni wands, yoni steaming and breast massage?
Opening up to pleasure in all its forms is, in my opinion, the key and aim of a successful yoni eggs/yoni wands/yoni steaming/breast massage practice – as doing so is how these practices bring about the benefits they do on all levels. When we learn to open ourselves up again like this we come back home to our bodies and begin to heal the rift between our feminine psyche and our bodies – a rift caused by the “shutting down” of our sensuality and sexuality. We start to really come alive and start to overcome the domestication that we were taught from a very early age. A natural “re-wilding” of ourselves begins… And any physical healing necessary naturally follows this emotional & spiritual healing.
Using these practices awakens our sensuality on all levels – and the more we become aware of that and simply take notice of pleasurable physical sensations or “turn-ons” in the body, the more we train ourselves to even greater sensitivity and awareness of the innate sensual/sexual beings that we are – and thus become healthier overall as a result of natural balance being restored.
Why do we shut down our sensuality?
Social conditioning or domestication is a form of control that teaches us to shut down our natural instinctive sensual nature – under the guise of “good manners” or accepted “norms”. But, if left to our own devices, we would move through life navigating only towards that which makes us feel good, opening up and blossoming in the process rather than contracting and shutting down.
Life experience can also cause us to “shut down” our sensual nature… as a perceived form of protection – but doing so actually puts our focus firmly on that which we have chosen to “shut down” against – rather than focussing on opening up to its opposite. It also shuts us down to life in general – the “good” and the “bad” – making it totally impossible for us to enjoy life to the full. By understanding and accepting that our negative feelings towards an event/situation have served us well in the past, when we didn’t know any better, we can then make the wise decision not to stay there a second longer. There are far more constructive and enjoyable responses we can choose now instead. By rewriting our story around something “negative” it can transmute into something “positive” – as it frees us from the heaviness or victim mentality of the experience and opens us up to that which brings us joy instead.
Yoni eggs, yoni wands, yoni steaming and breast massage all have the capacity to help us re-pattern our response to life and the cellular memory stored in the root/sacral/heart areas of our bodies. We can learn how to replace unhappiness, fear and shame with joy, love and pleasure and, in doing so, get the highest experience possible out of our physical existence.